Memorial Service

It was wonderful to see all the people who came to celebrate Curt's life at his Memorial Service last Saturday (I think over 300). My house is slowly getting more quiet. Today Beth, Angie and I took Jason, Aaron, Sam and Andrea Simpson to the Portland airport. Andrea was on the same flight to Chicago where she was connecting with her flight to London. The other out-of-town relatives started to leave late Saturday afternoon. Beth and Angie will stay here until Friday. A former neighbor took pictures and video (about 1 hour) of the service. To view this you need to go to http://bit.ly/cfeF8E. I think the file is 1.5 gb. I didn't know he was going to do this, and it was a great surprise. Angie also made a slide show of old pictures that we showed before the service and at the reception/lunch in the Community Center afterwards. I might try to attach that on a later blog.

By the way we had a great time at the beach in Seaside. The weather was good and the house was big, very nice, and close to the ocean. We celebrated Aaron's birthday on March 23 by him feeding sea lions at the Aquarium, riding bumper cars and visiting Ft. Clapsop (Lewis & Clark). The next day we climbed the Astoria Column (164 steps) with spectacular views and exploring the batteries and grounds of Ft. Stevens.

Obituary

I have submitted an obituary for Curt to the Corvallis Gazette Times, Quad City Times, and (Moline) Dispatch. The Dispatch already has it online at www.qconline.com. I'm not sure when it will appear in our paper.

Plans

Everything is set for the service on Saturday, March 27, at 10 AM at the First United Methodist Church in Corvallis. There will be a light lunch afterwards in our Community Center. We hope you can all come.
Curt was cremated today. He has always said that is what he wanted. He even mentioned one time putting some ashes on the pitchers mound. I would like to make a contribution to our church for a Columbarium for his ashes and for other members in the future. This would be different way for you to contribute, besides the Curtis Cook Computer Science scholarship through the Oregon State University Foundation, Benton Hospice, or the Cancer Society.
I am still working on an obituary and keep getting distracted, etc.!
Thank you again for all your support!

Making Plans

We have decided we would like to have Curt's memorial service at 10 AM on Saturday, March 27. This needs to be confirmed by our church (First United Methodist in Corvallis), but our minister indicated that date should be free. We want to have a light lunch afterwards in our church's Community Center. If anyone would like to make contributions, a Curtis Cook scholarship for an OSU Computer Science student has been set up with the OSU Foundation. We would also like to support our church, Benton County Hospice and the Cancer Society.
Before all this happened we had planned to rent a house in Seaside from Monday, March 22, to Thursday, March 25. We have decided this would be good time to spend together as a family. Beth is now here with the Baker family. The rest of her family is going to arrive this Saturday and probably return after the weekend of the 27th.
I don't know how to thank everyone for all the support we have received. It has been a great comfort to me and our family (as well as it was to Curt).

The End

While I have a few minutes in all the hubbub, I want to share that Curt passed away last night. Curt's breathing continued to be heavy yesterday. I called Hospice a couple times and gave him some Lorazepam about 8:30 and midnight last night. I slept on a cot next to sofa and woke up about 1:30 with him flaying around (and partly on my cot) and having difficulty breathing. I called the Hospice nurse on duty (Chrissy), and she came over after 2 AM. She gave him morphine to help with the breathing. This made him flay some more, so she gave him more Lorazepam too. That did not work either, so she gave him some Valium. That seemed to do the job. She was here over 1 1/2 hours and talked about how bad this cancer is. It grows quickly and was impinging on his air supply. She thought the Valium should last about 4 hours and told us to get some sleep. I was going to get a hospital bed and caregiver today and see about sedating him. I did go back to sleep listening to his snoring, but Sue thought it got quiet around 5 AM. Jack and Sue woke me about 7:30 and said they thought Curt had passed away. They called Hospice and Linda was here right away. She removed all Hospice things and made important phone calls. The Huffords and Reistads are here and helping out. We caught Beth before she got on the airplane here. Angie packed and is driving down now. Jef is going to get Beth and bring the girls down later. We have lots of things to take care of now.
Curt was strong until the end. He walked with his walker to bathroom at 9:30 last night. On Tuesday night he played a couple rounds of Mexican Train Dominoes (with lots of help) with Gordon and me. I don't think he was in pain. He did not ask for any pain medicine, but did have the patch. Chrissy said she didn't see any furrows in his brow to indicate pain. He is finally at peace now. We hope to decide on time for a memorial service by this evening. I want to talk to the girls. I am thinking of Friday or Saturday next week (March 26 or 27).

Not Good

Yesterday was a busy day. I was able to get my hair cut and go to the bank while some friends and a hospice volunteer stayed with Curt. I have someone with me at all times now. Kathleen Reistad spent the night last night.
This morning Curt woke up with heavy breathing. When Linda came, she said his breathing is like sleep apnea. She gave him some Lozarepam to relax his breathing and said to stop feeding him. It is a matter of time now. However, Curt has gotten up a couple times for the bathroom. You need to watch him - he has popped right up and tries to walk, with or without the walker. The last trip was difficult to get him back to the sofa, where he will probably be now. The Huffords just arrived and are going to spend the night. Beth is flying in at 1 tomorrow afternoon. Angie might bring her here, or else I will try to find someone to get her. Everyone else is arriving on Saturday for Spring Break week.

Another "Wrinkle"

The Bakers left after supper last night. Curt wanted to go out to our porch and wave goodbye to them.
Linda had some more information for us today. She said Curt's jerking, etc., could be a side effect of the anti-nausea gel I put on his arm 1/2 hour before he eats. I am glad to discontinue that to see what happens. Another cause of the jerking could be that the tumor has reached some nerves in his brain. This could lead to a seizure. I will need to contact them right away. They are having some medicine delivered here today for them to use if this happens. So one more thing to look out for. Linda also said not to feed him if he doesn't want it. So far when I ask him, he says he is hungry.
Tom Plant called this morning to say the OSU Computer Science Department is going to offer a $1000 scholarship in Curt's name next Fall. Tom is checking on the funding for this. I think Curt wanted to give some money to the OSU Foundation for this. Tom wanted to know if Curt had any preference on who could receive it (i.e. undergraduate or graduate or whatever). I don't think Curt cares. It is very hard to understand him.

Update on Blog Today

After writing a blog this morning, Dr. Foley called and came over to see Curt. I feel a little better now. His biggest concern was the bleeding, and there is none now. However, nobody can say what will happen. He thinks Curt's jerky movements, sleepiness, and mumblings could be from the pain medication. He does not want to change any of that over the weekend and will wait until Monday to see what how things go. He thinks Curt is getting close to a hospital bed and a caregiver. Dr. Foley didn't think I looked too exhausted, so we don't need a caregiver right away. If we do get a hospital bed, I would like a caregiver for overnight because we would probably put the bed in the family room. Later I had a nice visit with Tom Plant (who brought goodies from Glenda). Tom is going to talk to the EEC Department about a scholarship in Curt's name (Curt had talked to me about this). Curt was the first full-time (Assistant at time) Professor in the OSU Computer Science Department when it formed in 1972. The department has since merged with Electrical Engineering.
Jef and Tom are now working on our dryer vent that is venting into the garage, rather outside. It requires moving a shelving unit with lots of "junk" on it. Maddie and Vega are outside playing with some neighbor children. I guess they had a good time swimming.
So we continue one day at a time.

Last Thursday a caregiver (Barb Smith), recommended by a friend, came to assess our situation and for us to meet her. She is busy now, but might be able to help in an emergency (depending on the time). She also knows of some other caregivers when, and if, we need one. That night we all watched the OSU-Washington tournament basketball game. It went quite late. We decided we wanted some popcorn, so I was going to make some in our microwave popper. I said that Curt usually does that, and I would have to figure it out. Curt then hopped up with his walker and came into the kitchen to tell me what to do. Of course, he can't have any.
Friday morning the Hospice Chaplain came for a visit. Late in the morning, Angie took Maddie and Vega to get their hair cut. She then got Tom and Sharon, and they all ate at McDonald's. The girls could play there too. Linda came at noon. She warned me again about what could happen to Curt, but they really don't know what will happen. Mary Beth came at 4 to give Curt a shower. She noticed more of his confusion, sleepiness, and unsteadiness, and was concerned. We received more food - homemade spaghetti sauce with uncooked noodles, fresh Parmesan cheese and tulips; a chicken casserole; homemade vegetable soup with sour cream; and fresh fruit salad and cookies. Everything has been wonderful and we don't know how to thank everybody!
Jef arrived this morning about 9:30. He did a little yard work. The past couple days have been rainy, but the sun was out a little today. Curt is very tired. I really have to rouse him to get up and eat. He still uses the walker to the bathroom, but that is getting more unsteady. It is time to rouse him again to "eat".

More Family

Yesterday (Wednesday) Mike Creighton came over to be with Curt so I could walk with 4 of my friends. It felt good to walk and be outdoors. I was able to get some groceries after that. Jack Hufford arrived with my brother, Tom, and his wife, Sharon, after 1 o'clock. They were delayed at the airport in Portland because the airline had had bent the frame and broken the seat of Sharon's walker (she has Parkinson's). Linda came shortly after they arrived and later Hospice brought a walker for her to use while here. She has a problem with the seat being too high, but I think they will use it. Linda and I both notice that Curt is getting much weaker. A big concern is the blood in his mouth. It is not much now, but Linda could see the holes in the back of mouth are growing. It could possibly lead to some major bleeding. She brought sponge swabs to wet and use in his mouth. Curt had a couple other visitors during the day, and a couple people brought some supper and more "goodies".
This morning the Cravens came over to be with Curt. I didn't want Tom to take care of both Curt and Sharon. I played tennis again, but decided to get a sub for my USTA match this Sunday. Angie, Maddie and Vega and Steve Love came about 10:30. Steve was flying back to San Diego this afternoon. I heard that Curt actually sat at our dining table a little while I was gone. He has been sleeping this afternoon. It is a rainy day today. Maddie and Vega have been good, but Angie took them to the "bouncy place" to get rid of some energy. Tom went to the grocery store. I finally finished my mailing labels for the Folk Club, but I still need to work on those files later. Angie is going to make some chicken noodle soup for supper. A Caregiver is supposed to come sometime after 5 to talk to us.

I forgot to mention how many ways people have found to help us. On Sunday one of our neighbors took some of our "extra" garbage and put it in another neighbor's can. We have a small regular garbage can, recycling can, and yard debris can. Lately, we have been filling all of them.
Beth was able to fly standby on an 8:20 AM flight on Monday and got home about when the boys got home from school. One of our ministers (Courtney) came at 10 on Monday to talk with Curt and about a memorial service. Nurse Linda came at noon. His blood pressure was up a little. Curt has started to use the walker around the house now. He slept all afternoon and had a few phone calls. A nurse from our Long Term Care Insurance called to do an "evaluation" over the phone. I am trying to get caught up on some Folk Club files to make mailing labels this week. It seems like I can only work in short intervals. That evening the Reistads brought another supper for us and our mutual friend, Steve Love, who had flown up from San Diego that afternoon and will return this Thursday. We hope to see him again on Thursday morning before he leaves.
This morning the Jones' came over to be with Curt while I played tennis and showered. They left after lunch. We had a couple visitors in the afternoon and phone calls all during the day (and evening). Mary Beth came about 4:30 to help him with his shower and shaving. I told her I noticed he has been having a little bloody/yellow discharge from his mouth. She looked in his mouth and said she would report it to Hospice. Linda will be coming again tomorrow. My brother and his wife are also arriving tomorrow (their plane arrives in Portland about 10:15 AM). Kathleen has arranged for more meals for us on Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Angie, Maddie and Vega will be coming for a long weekend on Thursday too. I had leftover steak for supper tonight and need to make a grocery run tomorrow morning after walking with some friends. The Creightons' are going to be with Curt while I do that. Late Thursday afternoon, a caregiver is going to come over to see Curt and our situation. She is already working until 5 every day. I am still not sure when I might need extra help. Hospice is impressed with our Long Term Insurance coverage.
Thank you AGAIN to everyone!

Quiet Again

It is hard to find a time to write the blog now. The Bakers left with Beth about 7 tonight, and Curt is now in bed. I'm not sure how the wedge is working in bed. This morning he had slid down with his feet hanging over the end of the bed about a foot. It was about 8 AM, and I was happy he had not gotten between 4 and 6 to throw up. However, soon after he threw up.
Yesterday, Curt had a good day. It was beautiful outside - sunny and in the mid 60's. The Bakers arrived around lunch time on Saturday. They brought a rhododendron and a few small plants. They cleaned up the yard (and our grill) a little, and Jef went to get peat moss, and propane and steaks for our grill. Jef then planted the plants and grilled the steaks. Carolyn and Terry Miller brought a nice poppy plant yesterday too. However, Jef noticed the flower gone this morning (we thought the poppy was "deer proof"). Brett and Sarah Reistad also stopped by. Curt was first outside supervising where to plant the "rhodie" (he sat on a walker). He then sat in our sunroom and on our front porch visiting. Beth, Angie, Jef and I played Mexican Train Dominoes that evening while Curt "rested" in his recliner.
Today Curt has been sleeping in his recliner and on the sofa all day. He moves around and "talks" at times. I will be glad to have Linda see him tomorrow.
Thank you again to everyone for your all you do. Curt (and I) appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

A Quiet Birthday

Wednesday night we watched a DVD of Aaron and Sam's basketball games. Beth was happy to finally reconcile our bank statements with Quicken then too.
I was able to play tennis yesterday morning. When I came home, I was concerned when I saw Linda's car in the driveway. She had just brought Curt a couple birthday balloons! Beth showed me some things on Quicken. Curt appreciated phone calls and cards from brothers, grandkids and friends (including Meryl Simpson from England) that he received for his birthday. Reistads brought over some stroganoff, salad and rolls for supper (and a beautiful hanging plant for Curt). Curt did not want to try to eat anything (like ice cream) because of the pain in his mouth. We listened to some of the OSU-WSU basketball game (we won), opened a few presents, and visited. We reminisced about the 40 years we have spent holidays, camped together, etc. Their 2 boys are about the same ages as our 2 girls.
This morning our minister, Jim Fellers, came by to visit and talk a little about a memorial service. Our associate minister, Courtney, is coming on Monday morning to talk more about this. Curt would also like to involve Steve Sprecher. We received the forms from our Long Term Care Insurance via Fed Ex today, and I filled them out and gave them to Linda to take back to Hospice. They need to fill out information too. Our cleaning lady brought a helper today. Beth just ran to the store. Curt threw up his usual one or two times early this morning, but threw up what looked like his food right before I was going to give him his second feeding. Linda arrived shortly after and said to wait 4 hours before feeding him again. I also rubbed on some more anti-nausea medicine. His left eye is getting more "matter" in it. Linda said she noticed some swelling on that side of his face (same side as the tumor). We both noticed some slight deterioration (sleeping more, etc.). They are still not sure if it will be a continual decline, or something sudden could happen. I contacted the man about the rental house in Seaside during Spring Break. He is going to advertise it again, but check with us before actually renting it if he gets an offer. Linda brought a foam wedge for Curt to use in bed. Maybe it will help to hold things down. She also brought a chair for the shower. Mary Beth (the Hospice bathing aid) called and said she could help Curt with his shower this evening, rather than this afternoon. Curt said he would like that. The Jones are bringing some Bento food to Beth and I for supper tonight.
Angie's family is coming tomorrow afternoon. Beth will return to Portland with them Sunday evening and fly back to Chicago on Monday. My brother and his wife will arrive on Wednesday. The Huffords are going to bring them here. Angie, Maddie and Vega will be here for a long weekend the next week too (the girls do not have school on Thursday and Friday). I would like to play tennis at 9:30 on Tuesday morning and go walking on Wednesday morning between 9 and 9:30. Is there anyone who would like to sit with Curt during those times? He will probably be sleeping.
Thanks again for all your support (we can't say it enough).

A Quiet House

Denny and Sandy left at 6:30 this morning for the Portland airport. It is Curt, Beth and me now. I am still not getting much done. There were several calls with Benton Hospice and our long term care insurer (Genworth), etc. Hospice does not do over night care, and some other support. Yesterday, the social worker from Hospice came and met with Beth, Angie and me. She wanted to let the girls know they are available to help them and their families too. She took our Genworth policy and contacted them. We have started the process for this care, but don't really need it right now. However, it looks like Genworth might even cover my house cleaner!
Jef's parents did visit late Sunday afternoon. Jason mowed our grass. Jef, Maddie and Vega returned to Lake Oswego after supper Sunday. Curt played Farkle (dice game) with all of us for awhile. He had a frank and emotional talk with Aaron and Sam before they went to bed that night.
Gordon Reistad took Jason, Aaron and Sam to the Portland Airport Monday morning. Denny and Sandy moved into our house then for Monday and Tuesday night. Nurse Linda came at noon to check on Curt. Monday afternoon Beth and I went to the bank and did a little shopping. Gary worked a little more on the driveway/paver stains. He and Curt walked a little outside, and Gary walked further later. Gary left for the Portland Airport about 5 PM. The rest of us ate leftovers for supper. We played a little "team" Trivial Pursuit.
Tuesday (yesterday) morning Denny and Sandy went to our Clinic for a "coumadin (sp.)" blood check for Denny. Angie did some sewing repair projects for me, and Beth keeps working on our Quicken. A Hospice aid helped Curt with a shower late in the afternoon. Denny and Sandy got our supper at McGraths.
Linda came at 2 today and commented how quiet it was. She sat down to visit awhile. She thought Curt looked good and his "vitals" were good. She said her schedule would be Monday, Wednesday and Fridays for now. Beth is out running errands.
Reistads are bringing dinner tomorrow night to celebrate Curt's birthday. I plan on playing tennis at 9:30 tomorrow morning. I think Angie, Maddie and Vega (I don't know about Jef) are coming back Saturday afternoon for the weekend. Beth will leave the first part of next week. Her family will be returning on March 20 for Spring Break. My brother, Tom, and his wife, Sharon, are making plans to fly here from Kansas from March 10-16.
So things have settled into more of a "routine" and Curt seems to be stabilized for now